Stop Saying Thank You on Social Media & Say Something Meaningful!
By 
Do you find yourself saying thanks a lot on social media? Ever thought WHY you do that?
In this article, I am going to tell you to stop thanking people. Have I gone mad? I'll tell you why...
I've been blogging for over two years now and it's encouraging to see a lot of people sharing my articles. Some of these people share straight from my blog using one of the social networking share buttons, or from my RSS news feed in Feedly or perhaps on the blogging network, Triberr. I am extremely grateful to these people and I do try and respond to as many of the people who share my articles to say thank you.
But why?
Why do I say thank you on Twitter? A strange question, you ask?
No Thanks!
Being encouraging is part of my nature and I value politeness very highly. I always say please and thank you in real life, so surely it's the same on social media?
Well, kind of...
The thing is, sometimes a "thank you" can lose its value in the noise and sheer volume of posts.
Do you find yourself replying, sending a direct message or commenting with the following?
- "Thanks for following me. Looking forward to reading your tweets!"
- "Thanks for sharing :-)"
- "Thanks for the awesome RTs"
All of the above examples are very polite and encouraging, but what do they actually mean? Have you thought about the meaning of your "thank you" messages or are you just doing what everyone else is doing?
Don't get me wrong, I am doing exactly the same- but recently I was made to think about whether all this thanking was doing any good. I have marketing consultant, Mark Schaefer to thank for that. Thanks, Mark... (oops...!)
It was one of Mark's blog posts entitled "Why I Stopped Thanking People on the Social web" that made me stop and think. Do read it- it will give you an idea of what I am referring to.
In the article, Mark says that the tipping point came when someone tweeted him:
You are too damn polite... Stop thanking people, will you!
Ouch.
Mark then went on to say...
I knew he had a point. I had reached the thank you tipping point. So I stopped.
This saddened me. I hate it that the more popular you become on the social web, the less engaging you can be. Isn’t that ironic? The very characteristic people appreciate is doomed over time. Authentic social media engagement is not scalable.
I think Mark makes an interesting point. Social media is about creating meaningful content or building meaningful relationships- and that includes replies.
It's also about knowing who is in your core community and knowing why people are sharing your content in the first place.
Translating Thanks
So, coming back to the above example "thank you" messages, let's do a bit of translating. Could it be that the above messages could mean the following?....
- "Thanks for following me. Looking forward to reading your tweets!"
TRANSLATION: This is an automated message because I am too busy to send you a hand-crafted one. I might be interested in reading what you say although to be honest I probably don't have that much time to read any of them. I was hoping to reach 10,000 followers, and I'm almost there. Basically, I have no idea why I am tweeting you to say thank you for following me, but it seems like the polite thing to do.... - "Thanks for sharing :-)"
TRANSLATION: I am genuinely thankful that you shared my article, however, I don't have the time to properly engage with you, but I wanted to say thanks because that's the right thing to do- my mummy/mommy & daddy taught me to be polite. - "Thanks for the awesome RTs"
TRANSLATION: Thanks for retweeting some of my tweets to your followers. I haven't thought about it, but come to think about it, some of your followers may have seen my tweets in their timelines. That's quite good really and it gives me a bit of exposure. Please do keep on doing it! I don't really talk to you much on Twitter, but I do like the fact that you're doing my marketing for me.
OK, please note that I had my tongue firmly in my cheek with the above, but I hope you got my point!
Taking up the Opportunity
Part of the issue that Mark Schaefer was referring to, was the lack of value of a "thanks for sharing" type of reply. It's not quite meaningless, but once you start sending out dozens of these a day, they are going to lose their value.
How about doing something a little different?
Instead of just thanking them, why not introduce them to someone else they might find interesting? How about reading one of their articles and giving some feedback? You won't necessarily be able to do that with all your replies, but you could create an opportunity and build upon the relationship.
Be Encouraging!
We've missed something though and it is a biggy...
Encouragement.
Most of us like to be encouraged. If we don't get any feedback it can be a bit depressing. Words of Affirmation is one of the 5 Love Languages (read the book if you haven't already). Each of us accepts and give love and attention in different ways, but one that works well on the social web is Words of Affirmation- encouragement.
I love it when someone leaves a comment on my articles, but the truth is that most readers of blogs don't.
Talk to most bloggers out there, and they'll tell you the same- they wish they had more comments. The same goes for Twitter, LinkedIn and Facebook. It's great when someone replies, mentions us or leaves a comment.
However, which would you prefer- 20 "thank you for your article" one line comments or 5 longer comments where they share their thoughts? We need to be encouraging but also add value to the conversation. That's how it is in real life, so why should it be any different online?
"Thanks" Replacement Ideas List
So what should we do instead? I'm not saying we should never just say thank you, but in most cases, you should always be looking to make your engagement more meaningful.
So here is my "thank you" Replacement List.
- Ask them what they think
Ask them what they thought of one aspect of the article. If your article was a list of tools or services, ask them what their favourite was. They may not have read the article, but your tweet may quickly remedy that! - Let them know what you think
If they have a website or blog, have a visit and read an article. Reply to let them know you've visited with some thoughts. - Introduce them to someone new
If you've not engaged with them before, check their profile. If relevant, you could introduce them to someone else in your core community they may find interesting. Being in touch with your community is important. - Share a relevant article
If relevant, share a similar article that you have written - Ask them to subscribe
Recommend they subscribe to your blog or email newsletter. Use Twitter Lead Generation Cards - Be funny
Tell a joke or share something funny- make their day! - Encourage them
Encourage them by sharing with them something you like or admire about them or a quality you see in them.
Using Commun.it to help you
"That's all very well", you say, "but I don't have enough time!".
I understand- I have the same issue. However, that's why spending time thanking everyone without a strategy isn't going to help you!
Firstly, make your own "thank you" replacement list and save it somewhere where you can easily access it. In order to make things easier, we are going to use a tool called Commun.it* which is a Twitter Relationship Management Tool. You can quickly respond to people who have shared your content. Commun.it segments people into influencers, supporters and engaged members. For more information see my Complete Guide on Using Commun.it.
With your "thank you replacement" list to hand, you can quickly go through your pending replies and mentions and actually engage much more meaningfully with the core people in your community. You may discover people who you haven't engaged with before- people who you didn't realise were in your community. This is the power of Commun.it.
The best way is to go through the different feeds in Commun.it- one at a time. However, remember to plan!
I'd recommend using the prioritized feed as well as consider to reply and high-value members. As well as that, make sure you monitor tweets containing links to your blog posts- if you do this you can quickly go through the monitoring feed too.
Here are the feeds in Commun.it:
- PRIORITIZED FEED (the most important pending mentions and people for you to action)
- FOLLOWERS (consider to reply, re-engage, to follow, unfollow, new followers & new unfollowers)
- RELATIONSHIPS (high-value members, influencers, Supporters & engaged members)
- MONITORING (people tweeting posts containing your keywords or links)
- LEADS (potential people to follow relating to certain keywords)
What do you think?
So, have I got you thinking? Do you agree or disagree? Do you have a plan or strategy in how you engage with people using social media? I'd love to know. As always, please leave your comment below (even if it is a "thank you for your article!" comment!)
About Ian Anderson Gray
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I have a comment on the opposite concept of this post — what if you do someone a favor on a social media website (e.g., Facebook) where they ask for help or a recommendation, and you expend time and energy helping provide it to them, and all they do in return is just click the “like” button (thus expending approximately 1% of the energy you just expended on them) instead of writing the words “Thanks for your help” (or something like that) in the comment section (which would require approximately 5% of the energy you just expended on them)? I… Read more »
I just wanted to say thank you! Joking, it was an inspiring article, I will come back to read others.
Lol! Thank you too! Glad you found in inspiring!
Great points there, Translating the thank you, Hilarious indeed
My pleasure, Rocky. I still need to be reminded of this article from time to time! Glad you found it hilarious! Ian
I feel like I need to re-read this article because I just really want to say “thank you”! #olddognewtricks
That made me laugh! Do you know what? I need to read this article myself – because it is so easy to fall into old habits. Glad you found it useful
Hey Ian, what about ‘getting giffy’ while saying thank you on social media? We’ve found that GIFS really get our message across to our followers, especially on twitter in a fun, humorous way
GIFs pull them in and help us continue the conversation!
I completely agree. GIFs are a great way of putting a message across. But I wouldn’t just use the GIF – I’d also add a message to the Tweet too.
Really Appreciable Article , Honestly Said The Thing Actually I liked The most is the step by step explanation of everything needed to be known for a blogger or webmaster to comment , I am going show this to my other blogger freinds too
Thank you Ian. I really appreciate your time effort and information.
I loved your article!! It has given me plenty to think about moving forward on my social media journey!
Really pleased to hear that. I love to help people think a bit more deeply on their journey!
Thanks! As a novice to Social Media I found this article very helpful. I can see how “Thanks for sharing” can become disingenuous after saying a few times to the same person! Thanks again. The article has really helped me see how I need to create my own unique voice and I don’t want that voice to sound like a bot!
I think it also depends on the person. We’re all different. As an introvert, I have a slight allergy to “small talk”. Just replying with “thank you” does seem disingenuous after a while. Glad this article helped.
This is really useful, especially for me just starting to try and build connections on social media. Commun.it looks a bit daunting, but I’ll try it!
Glad this has been helpful. You don’t need to use a tool though. A tool like Commun.it (or others) just makes it easier to manage in the long term. But to begin with you can start natively on the platform.
Hi Ian.
Have you been stalking my Twitter feed? I think I must have used all of the ‘bad examples’ you gave, and I thought I was networking! You’ve given some great food for thought so I’m going to be trying out the value-add ideas you’ve shared here. Thanks for the encouragement to be more creative which will (I hope) help to drive more engagement with my followers.
Hi Coralie, Lol, no I don’t think I’ve been stalking you on Twitter. I’ve been guilty of this in the past, and I even find myself falling into the trap these days. I wrote this article partly for myself – to remind me – and you’ve reminded me once more! But I know from being the recipient to the generic “thanks” replies, I much prefer a decent conversation or a bit of fun make such a difference. I want to put the word “social” back into social media. I’m glad this article was helpful and I’d love to know how… Read more »
I came here looking for advice and also discovered a platform that can help me do it too. Thanks Ian, I’ll start with 1 and 7. Communications.it here I come
Cool, thanks for your comment, Grace. Glad it has helped you. Let me know you get on. Ian
Hi Ian
I’m truly an Instagram noob and while I was doing research, I came across your highly interesting article. It got me wondering what you think about thank you videos in which you also ask your followers what interests them the most?
Kind regards
Ann
Thanks, Ann. Sorry for the late reply – it’s been a mad month! I love that. I think it’s all about providing value and sometimes surprising! We don’t want to add to the noise. But, I would say, as well as asking them what interests them most – actually find out more about them first. Look at what they do and find a way that you can help them. This is not scalable – but that’s the point. Do this for some of your followers. That way, you’re providing value and being different. I don’t think this can be automated.… Read more »
I ran across your article when I Googled… Thanking New Instagram Followers. I have a system in place for Twitter, but not Instagram. I liked some of your ideas and plan to implement one or two to see which ones work the best for me. By the way, you can find me @thehopeboulevard! THANKS for the advice.
Thanks, so glad this was helpful. I had Twitter in mind when I wrote the article, but this works for most platforms, and I think it would work well
It’s in reality a great and useful piece of information. I’m glad that you shared this helpful info with us. Please stay us up to date like this. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks so much!
Great Article. I am learning to be social on SM and learning to blog etc. So all your info helps…
Glad to hear that, Stacie. We’re all learning on social media. I think it is true that if we’ve finally learnt everything there is to know about a certain subject, then it’s time to retire. Learning is so important.
Great article, thanks… ups! Would you like to have a business connection in Tampere – Finland? We have a project named Tampere Ambassadors, I am part of it and would be very happy to give you a “virtual business tour” of out city.
Hi Selene, thanks for getting in touch. I’ve never been to Finland, but I’d love to one day. Feel free to tell me more by contacting me via my contact form. Ian
I agree! How was the business connection?
This was a very interesting article and definitely gave me some food for thought. One question though, what do you think about using internet speak or acronyms when thanking followers etc? I’ve got an opinion on the matter but I’m curious to know yours and what/why you came to that conclusion.
Really interesting question! It depends on the people you are engaging with. “Internet speak” or acronyms may mean nothing to some people and just won’t be appropriate. So I don’t think there is a one size fits all solution to reply to people. I have a “thank you replacement list” as saved replies in Agorapulse (my social media management tool of choice), and I have a lot of different ones to chose from. Some are geeky and some are not. I’ll choose the right response depending on the person and then I will tweak and personalise it. Hope that helps.… Read more »
Thanks for sharing such a great article with us. This surely helps me in my work.Thanks a lot
My pleasure. I hope it helps a lot. A lot of people have found the idea of the Thank You Replacement list helpful. Ian
The article is very nice, “thank” you for sharing it! ?
Lol, thanks for your comment!
Glad you found it helpful.
I have become so bored of saying “thank you” that I googled to find alternatives, which led me to your post.
Hi Darcy, oh that is great to know! Glad there a few of us who have been looking for ways to add value to the humble “thank you”!
Me too! and I am especially bored with LOL!!!!!
Oh dear, I sometimes say LOL myself. But it just goes to show we can all become a bit lazy with our responses. Having a replacement list gives us ideas on what to say.
Thanks for sharing. Oops…there I go again…….
Lol!
Yes, i’ve seen the same thing on everywhere on social media. Thanks for sharing the meaningful idea.
Thanks, Mike! It’s happening everywhere, and I’ve been guilty of it myself. We need to be building relationships – not just adding more noise!
When someone share content from my blog. I do say “thank you” but along with that I also ask if they find the content helpful and what’s the next post they want to see on my blog.
Br,
Michael John
*very nice post, i certainly love this website, keep on it
Don’t worry after reading your article I’m not going to say “thank you” just for the formality. You’re right people saying “thank you” just for completing formality and it seems that another feel good when you say them “thank you”. I want to ask you that when you are going to reveal the list of “thanks” replacement ideas, it works.
Hi Mary, Feel free to say thanks! The point of the article, as you know, is to encourage people not to *just* say thank you – but to add more value. I really appreciate your comment. Have you built up your own “thank you replacement list”?
Great idea. If we say thank you with a meaning full word then it can easily make little smile. You are also awesome. Keep it up.
Yehhhh, you’re right i try my best to not say thanks in my posts and others too.
That was so retarded! Seriously? You would just forget the hundreds of people who appreciate a “thank you” just because some sociopathic grumpy cat doesn’t need it? Punishing thousands for the guilt of one is stupid. Being human, polite and grateful is not!
That wasn’t my point at all. I value politeness and gratefulness incredibly highly. My point was that we need to go further in thanking people. Unfortunately just saying “thank you” can get lost in the noise. We need to go further, start a conversation, be genuine, go deeper. Call it Thanks 2.0
Lots of people on social are observers rather than contributors. For a lot of people, getting a little thank you graphic back from someone or a business comes out of left field which can be a nice surprise. People either feel good about Thank You’s, or they are indifferent. No one will take a Thank You negatively besides a very select few (whom most wouldn’t want to interact with regardless). When someone does a little action, like following your page, a simple Thank You graphic is perfect. It’s when they do something that takes more effort that requires more effort… Read more »
Thanks, Mason. I really like your thinking – mirroring the person you are interacting makes a lot of sense. I think sometimes, though, going out of your way to interact with someone in a genuine and interesting way, goes a long way. Thanks!
I hear ya… unless you get semi creative with it. I do it everyday as a form of marketing. I’m a songwriter with songs on various internet radio and social platforms. People play our stuff… they don’t have to. But they do. All of them appreciate the additional exposure. Lots of times I will include another artist as a shout-out if I like a song… I almost always include 4 pix on every tweet depending on the response. To me it’s just good will and a form of marketing. Unsuspecting songwriters or bands appreciate a shoutout and connects the community.… Read more »
This mostly started in the USA and is a problem that goes beyond SM exchanges. In the USA people say words like: thank you, welcome, sorry, love you, honey etc way too often even when is not needed. Here is Europe we are more careful and don’t need to say those words so fast or often. Just think how often we are on a phone call talking to friends or having getting some tech support help yet during the course of the conversation 10 or 20s thank you go back and forth for not reason at all. And even when… Read more »
Hi Paula, such an interesting story – and thanks so much for sharing it with us. Really fascinating to see how different countries and cultures deal with encouragement, affirmation and thanking people. Ian
Ian, Thanks for the article. **Paula, what an amazing blessing to have studied in the USA. I have traveled to 53 countries and lived in 8 before coming back to my home in the USA. I laugh at your ignorant comments at how you look down on the niceties of the US. It is pretty ridiculous of you to criticize the US for “being too nice”. Yes, maybe in other countries it may have negative connotations. My wife is from Shanghai and admittedly they are the same as in Europe in many ways. Anyway, RESPECT other peoples’ cultures. Understand?
You would hate Canada, we think the American’s are rude with their lack of manners. Not saying words of benevolence every 30 seconds is considered to be passive aggressive. There is a strong understanding in Canada that the words do not mean anything; the context and intent is everything. We are hyperbolic with our phrasing of words in every sense of the word.
You have just read my mind! I was thinking “I can’t keep saying thank you – so you have now got me thinking of some genuine comments I can make on my Instagram
redbubble_traveldreams
Hi Sue. It takes longer to leave genuine comments, and I am not saying you can’t say thank you, but slow cooked social media often tastes nicer!
Just read your post and would like to thank you for maintaining such a cool blog.
Thanks, John. I appreciate your comment!
I was feeling saying thank tou could end up counter productive, that by searching the internet that I found your article. Quite useful and pertinent, I’m going to put this in practice. It might takenmore time but certainly generates a stronger relationship with followers on the long run.
Thanks for your comment, Stephane. I am glad you agree. It does take longer. However, I am more interested in building fewer high quality and longer lasting relationships rather than just copying and pasting “Thanks”!
When someone share content from my blog. I do say “thank you” but along with that I also ask if they find the content helpful and what’s the next post they want to see on my blog.
That’s perfect. You’re adding value and starting a relationship!
I don’t disagree with the great Mark Schaefer on much but on this one I do. While I accept that there has to be an intention to promote further conversation and trust, a simple “thank you” is never a bad thing. I thank new followers, people who have shared my content and re-tweeted my stuff, those who have commented or engaged with me in some other way. I do it in a personal way, not a copy and paste way. When I advise businesses on improving their customer service saying “thank you” forms the backbone. I look upon it as… Read more »
Thanks, Chris. I don’t disagree with you. But the problem that Mark Schaefer was discussing was that saying “thank you” is not scalable. If I thanked every person who followed me or shared my content each day I’d spend hours and hours. Also, many people share stuff out automatically using scheduling software. Although I value saying thank you very highly, I’ve chosen to be selective and spend more time with those people- crafting more personal replies. If I didn’t, I’d worry I’d end up copying and pasting “thank you” to everyone – and that’s not something I’d feel comfortable with.
A response to the distance past. Although this was written almost three years ago I find it still relevant today. I just wish I had seen it back then. Currently my social media voice is predominately on Twitter although I am somewhat on Snapchat, Periscope, Busker, Anchor and Facebook. However I do not have a blog basically because I really don’t have anything to write about. I have been on Twitter since its inception but not really active until the latter part of last year. I too was looking for engagement and needed a way to say TY without appearing… Read more »
Thanks, Ray. I had to check, I couldn’t believe this was written nearly 3 years ago. Wow, how time flies. To be honest, it is even more relevant today than it was then. It’s becoming more and more difficult to cope with the clutter and noise of the social web. That’s why it is becoming even more important to cut through the noise and not just add to it. I am glad you found this post helpful. I do have to disagree with you on one point, though. You say you don’t have anything to write about and that’s why… Read more »
Hey Ian,
When someone share content from my blog. I do say “thank you” but along with that I also ask if they find the content helpful and what’s the next post they want to see on my blog.
Isn’t that cool?
Hi Ammar, that’s great. You’re starting a conversation and adding value!
yes, Yes, and oh wow, COOL. Translation: I’m so very glad that I found this article AND i look forward to reading the email you sent me at the beginning. I believe in the power of communication and the basic “manners” that I grew up with. I absolutely want to send every follower a note saying Thank You, but it does start to feel like I am cutting cookies. I loved your content, suggestions and sense of humor throughout! And then the tools at the end are inspiring and COOL thank you again. Sooo, If you have had a manic… Read more »
Thanks for your comment, Sarah – and yes, I do mean that! I very much believe that good manners are important. I wonder whether social media is a bit like inviting people round to a party. Parties can be very intimate affairs- maybe you might invite one or two friends round. If that were the case, I would thank them very much for coming. I’d do the same if it was a gathering for my birthday- if there were 40 or 50 friends. I remember doing it at my wedding. We greeted and thanked the guests at the reception in… Read more »
That is so true. I really don’t like it when they keep saying thanks. Engaging with them is the best options. Keeps them interested.
Glad you agree! I love people saying “thanks” but especially if they say more and start a conversation.
Ian
Nice Reading ! Thank You
Can’t tell if this comment is being satirical, genuine, or auto-generated. Whatever the intent, truly hilarious.
Well I take it as being genuine and satirical at the same time. Is that possible?!
nice reading! And this ar just a few NO”s that people tend to do online, just like “im sorry” on “excuse me” on unnecessary situations.
Great tips posted on this article
Thanks, Bruno. Glad you found it helpful. I’m all for being polite, I just prefer to get to the point and add value.
Ian
This is a great article! I agree with the list of things you should NOT say but I have a little comment to make about asking your visitors to subscribe. I think that this should come naturally, otherwise you might end up looking spamy.
Glad you liked the article.
When you’re talking about me asking my visitors to subscribe, do you mean in this comments section or somewhere else? People don’t need to subscribe to the comments by email, but many find it helpful so they don’t have to keep on coming back to see if they’ve had a response. I’d love to know more about what you think. I certainly don’t want to appear spammy!
First Ian, let me say that you were a “Divine Find” today, and I do appreciate all that you do! I was just sitting here having a conversation with my husband, and telling him I don’t completely understand the use of the “Mute” button because I’m just learning how to engage with Twitter. I started using Twitter, other social media, attempting to set up of a website, and writing because, unfortunately, I have been ill for several months, and I was to serve. Before becoming ill, that was my life – “Encouraging” – Not being able to fulfill a passion… Read more »
Hi Gloria, thanks so much for your comment. So glad you found this article helpful. I hope you’re feeling better. I also wanted to apologise for not getting back to you until now. The past few weeks have been a little mad to say the least! I share your uncomfortable feeling in being superficial. I don’t like small talk particularly. However, with Twitter, engaging with everyone in a high quality way is difficult to scale. At the start I messaged every new follower and thanked everyone. Now, I can’t do that effectively. It’s great to have so many followers, but… Read more »
I like saying “THANK YOU”.
So do I! It’s just that I prefer to say a little more than just “Thank You” when I’m on social media- just so I can start a more valuable conversation!
Ok, instead of just sharing this, comment too Your advice is really valuable, thank you….LOL, and to Mark. Can’t leave him out, can we. I found myself posting thank you notes with images I track down that express my gratitude for the follows, retweets, etc., but only more recently. While it was feasible time wise, I actually tried some of what you suggest and have read their blogs/articles, left comments or shared them, followed them on other social media too. Much of the advice I come across online can be contradictory too, so I choose to follow my own insticts… Read more »
Thanks for your thoughts. We’re all going to have different situations and methods. I love the fact that you trusted your instinct- being yourself and authentic is the best way.
Ian
Excellent tips. This is very informative!
I’d like to see a shift in expectation on social media. If a ‘like’ were to be understood as an acknowledgement with thanks, we could use the comments simply to make useful or interesting points in reply. So much time saved! So many fewer interesting comments lost in a sea of meaningless thanks!
Hi Ian,
I surely enjoyed your article. I totally agree with you. In my opinion, being part of this fast paced online world we sometimes don’t take the time to truly engage with others and value what they write. Your article is a good guide to start saying thank you in different ways and how to accomplish that very efficiently with the awesome twitter tools. I will start implementing your tips, because I want to show appreciation to my twitter followers!
Cheers,
Karina Taugwalder
Thanks, Karina. Unfortunately proper engagement isn’t scalable, but I prefer to engage on a deeper level with fewer people. I think that is more beneficial than copying and pasting “TY for sharing my post” to everyone. What does that actually achieve? Having said that, I do sometimes copy and paste- but I try and personalise and add value by asking questions and using a variation of the “thank you replacement list” above.
I am glad you found it all helpful. Let me know how you get on!
Ian