Confidence & Communication: Luria Petrucci

[0:53] Ian: Hello, and welcome back to the Confident Live marketing podcast. I'm Ian Anderson Gray. And in this season, we are going into the realms of confidence communication and talking with my special guests about their journey with confidence. they always been able to get in front of the camera or on stage?

[1:11] Or have there been times when they've been a little bit shy, frustrated with things? That's what we're going to be talking about. And in today's episode, I'm really excited to bring back a special guest to the show. Friend of mine, Luria Petrucci, who who is awesome. She helps entrepreneurs unleash their authentic self through professional videos and live streams.

[1:29] For 18 years, Luria has created over 6, 000 videos with over 1 billion views using video and live streaming shows. She's appeared on places like CNN, NBC, FOX, NBC. MSNBC, ABC, and BBC. And she's worked on live videos for top brands like AT& T, Samsung, GoDaddy, and Panasonic. Live Streaming Pros has built live video studios for top influencers like, you might have heard some of these names, Amy Porterfield, Pat Flynn, Ryan Levesque, Donald Miller, Stu McLaren, and Michael Hyatt.

[2:05] Welcome back to the show. Luria, how you doing?

[2:07] Luria: so much for having me.

[2:09] Ian: it's great to have you back to talk about something that I know is very important to you. It's also something that I'm really passionate about. A lot of people know you, Luia, for getting into the gear. Studio setups.

[2:23] I've just mentioned that in your, in your bio, like you've made all these, you've helped all of these entrepreneurs with their studio setups and you You de geekify all of this.

[2:33] Luria: I like that term. I'm going to

[2:35] Ian: steal that. But ultimately, I know that this is something that you feel strongly about is it's all about that, Confidence, it's this inner confidence that so many of us struggle with I've talked a lot about that on My show about my journey, so i'm really interested to know a little bit more about your background So I know we've only got a short amount of time and you've got such like I mean your background You've been doing this for years and years But yeah, maybe your background when it comes to content creation, we'll talk about confidence in particular in a minute, but what was your, the beginnings of your getting in front of the camera?

[3:08] I know we haven't got very long you can do a whole hour on this, but see how

[3:14] Luria: you get on. I, so I got started in 2005 and I never wanted to create content. be in front of the camera. I was the shyest person that you probably have ever met. I didn't know how to talk. I got called a a snob in school because I couldn't talk to people.

[3:33] I just didn't have the social skills for it. And nobody believes me when I say that now, because I have gained So much experience and confidence on camera. So just know it can be done even if you're feeling a little shy or awkward or uncomfortable in front of the camera. But I started really just geeking around with RSS feeds.

[3:54] And if you don't know what that is, it's the technology behind how, podcasts are delivered. And now I'm in the podcast hall of fame and I've had, I've done TV shows and all of this stuff. So I just got started thinking it was just cool from a technology standpoint. And I very quickly, when Apple released their first video iPod, this was before the iPhone existed.

[4:16] It was very obvious that people were going to be getting these for Christmas and there was no content for it. There are no video content out there. And so I put out my first video two days before Christmas and immediately gained an audience because they were forced to watch me. They wanted, if they wanted to watch something on their video, I bought them.

[4:33] There weren't many of us doing it. I was forced into people's worlds and I was able to quit my day job five months later and start doing this full time. So it was pretty crazy time for me at that point.

[4:45] Ian: So was that on YouTube or was that on something else? What that I was

[4:49] Luria: on iTunes, it before.

[4:50] Okay. So this was,

[4:51] Ian: this was a video podcast back in those days, Yeah. And so like, when you first went in front of the camera I remember for me, like I I went, got in front of the camera, not because I wanted to, because I had to because I was like I remember like when. I had done videos before this, but the thing when I really felt like I had to do it was when Facebook live came out and I was using OBS and I thought people are asking me about this.

[5:13] I need to create something about it. And I look back on those videos and I'm cringing because I'm like, they're like a complete Muppet kind of, really not confident. So what was your, what got you in front of the, oops, I'm hitting my mic. I need, we talked about this last episode. I need a, I need one of your mics.

[5:30] What got you in front of the camera? Was that from you from within or were other people out there encouraging you to do it?

[5:36] Oh, sorry, Laura, I can't hear you. Is that me or you?

[5:39] Luria: Oh, so sorry. I double muted myself.

[5:42] Ian: Happens to us

[5:42] Luria: all. I, I didn't do it out of desire to be on camera. I did it out of necessity, knowing that what I was doing at that time for my Business or career was not what I wanted to do. So it was almost like there's this opportunity.

[6:01] I could see a future in it. And so I dove right in. I'm a, I'm an all in or all out kind of girl. And so when I do something, I do it all the way or I'm not going to do it at all. And so that was my mentality going into it. It was like, there was this opportunity. I didn't want to be doing what I was doing for the rest of my life.

[6:19] And. let's just try it and see what happens, right? It could become a business. And so that's that was my internal motivation.

[6:28] Ian: Yeah. I love that. So have there been times when, and maybe you tell me the feelings here, like for some people they may have had like moments of fear or anxiety, nervousness and so yeah. Everyone has a different journey here. So there are some people out there who I've met who don't feel those things. Which is great for them, but like for the rest of us how did you overcome them? and maybe that's the wrong word do you think it's possible to completely overcome them?

[6:56] Because I'll be honest with you I, Still get a little bit nervous nowhere near as as I did like years ago, but there's still an element of that and I've tried to turn that nervousness into like excitement and into other things. So I'm interested in what that journey or that transition transformation has been for you.

[7:14] Luria: Like you, I was incredibly uncomfortable in front of the camera. Like I said, I was super shy. I had never really talked. I didn't know what I was doing. And I, the first videos super squeaky, like high pitched, uncomfortable voice, I look back and I cringe as well. And and I think that's the way it's supposed to be just cause you figure it out.

[7:36] I think for me, like it was my first year of video. I was totally scripted. I could not do anything unscripted or off the cuff. And I remember the first podcast interview I was asked to be on. I scripted out my answers to an interview conversation. And I read those answers on that podcast. I cringe at that now thinking.

[8:01] Wow. Like just talk girl. That's like how I started and how I was able to be comfortable on cam, not comfortable necessarily, but just do it. And then I got an opportunity to to be a co host on Leo Laporte's call for help. And I immediately said, yes, thinking what the hell am I going to do because I have no idea how to do this.

[8:26] But I say yes to opportunity when I know that they're going to push me in the direction that's going to lead to success. So like I said, yes. And then I was like, I on site on that TV set and there was no script and there was no undoing it. It was basically live to drive or live to tape at that time.

[8:45] You don't get a redo if you screw something up. So I was very lucky to have, a super supportive crew. But, and everybody said I did a fantastic job and yet internally I was fearful. I was scared. I was uncomfortable. And this was my first live environment. And I was freaking out internally, right?

[9:10] And when I got home from that experience, I was like, I can't. Do this like I can't not do this. I don't I'm not very good at not being good at something Like I said, I'm all in or all out. So it was either quit or Learn how to freakin do it And so at that point I started going live for my own audience just to learn the process of being off the cuff And so I was live weekly daily at times and I got really good really fast because I was throwing myself into it.

[9:41] And yeah, that was my journey. I think that to answer your question about do you fully overcome it? I think that you gain Confidence by action, right? Like confidence does not come without action. And so you've got to throw yourself into it and do it over and over to gain that confidence.

[10:01] However, you will also feel the nerves every time you do something new or out of your comfort zone, right? So you gain confidence, you gain comfort in this zone. And then when you step out and you do something new for you, You're going to feel that sense of uncomfortableness and lack of confidence and nerves.

[10:22] And that's a sign that you really want to do well at something and you are stepping into something new and bigger than you've done before. So I think that's a really good thing to do. And I recently, and I haven't told anyone this I recently had a conversation with my team member who helps out with content and stuff.

[10:42] And I was like, I'm stuck. Like I've been doing this for 18 years and I feel like I just do it and I haven't learned any new tricks. And I don't feel that sense of of nerves anymore. And and that's my sign to say, I got to do something new. I got to do something bigger. I got to do something greater than I have done before.

[11:02] So I'm currently figuring out what that is and stepping into a new version of myself too, to learn new tricks. I

[11:08] Ian: think, I think that's awesome. And it's funny you say that and I haven't actually said this publicly either. I've been feeling a similar kind of thing. Like I think It's not that I'm bored, like with what I do, but I feel like I need something new and exciting.

[11:21] And I actually am doing stuff. I have another podcast, which is nothing to do with marketing. And I'm really excited about that. Sometimes you have to step into something different. And I, yeah, I totally agree with everything you've said that I'm, I would be really interested if we could build a time machine and you would step into that time machine.

[11:38] And. Okay, I know if you've ever seen Back to the Future, this could rip the fabric of the universe if you were to do this, but if you could see Deloria, who was going live right back in those days, and was scripting everything, and was, like, super anxious and nervous what would you say to, what would you say to her to encourage her?

[11:59] Because it Sounds like there's definitely you tell me, is there, there's an element of perfectionism in what you're saying, you want everything to be perfect, and, a lot of what you're talking about now is about being real and authentic, and not worrying if you stumble over your words. So what would you say to that Luria back in those days?

[12:19] Luria: It's a great question. I think I would teach her that or help her understand that that perfection doesn't have a place in video. And that's what I had to learn is that The, that people want to connect with people and humans. And that's where the beauty comes in from this community that I was building.

[12:39] Like they, they loved my videos, but they loved it even more when I went live and they loved it even more when I would screw up or, it's not out of making fun of me, but out of connection. And so if I could infuse, have infused that earlier in her that I think it would be the number one key there.

[12:58] Ian: Yeah, I love that. And it's, obviously the world of live has changed, there's, I know you've talked about this a lot as well, live video is not what it was it's it rose, it's fallen, it's I think it's going to come back again, I think particularly with AI.

[13:12] Oh, it's

[13:13] Luria: always, yeah, up and down for sure.

[13:15] Ian: But I think, so like for people who don't necessarily want to embrace live what's the. Is there another type of thing that people can do to gain their confidence through doing? Because I totally agree with you that it's that repetition.

[13:28] That's what helped me. Even when I didn't want to do it, I went live and I got better and I made mistakes. And I was actually quite glad when I made the mistakes because I knew I'd learned something. So what other benefits are there? What places can people or formats can people embrace?

[13:42] Luria: I think short form, like reels, stories on Instagram and Facebook are a really great way to just keep movement.

[13:51] They don't have to last forever in that format. And so you don't have to worry about it so much. Doing a lot of, Just stories, reels, getting your face out there, getting used to the talking process and trying not to do it over and over again. I'm talking to myself here is I think a really great way to.

[14:11] Just get used to this form of video and then you can expand from there

[14:16] Ian: I think you're right and like I still think live video is a great thing to embrace even If you're struggling with it, like in terms of the reach and all that kind of stuff. It's still I think that if it wasn't for all those that this episode is not live, but the first 210 episodes that I did were live and I don't think I would be able to do as good a job as I'm doing now, not that it's perfect without have gone me going live as well for those first 200 episodes.

[14:45] I want to move on to um, personality and how that comes into the, to confidence and communication. Cause we're all different. I think that is probably there's so much diversity when it comes to personality. We're all very different people. Even people who are very similar, it's still different.

[15:01] Would you, not wanting to put you in boxes here, but, you've mentioned like you were very shy would you describe yourself as a shy person, a bold person, introverted, extroverted? What, how would you describe yourself from that point of view and how does that affect the way you turn up on camera today?

[15:19] There's obviously been a transition for you, but I'm talking about like today, now, how would you describe yourself? And how does that? the way you turn up on camera.

[15:27] Luria: I'm definitely an introvert who has learned to communicate well, but I think the key thing for my personality is that I love people. So you know, if you leave me in a room full of people, I'm going to hide in the corner for a little while.

[15:45] And Just people watch and I ask a lot of questions. I don't talk about myself a lot. I have a hard time talking about myself in a physical environment, but I always ask a ton of questions. Because I love people. I love getting to know people and I love hearing people's stories and all of that.

[16:03] And so I lean into that personality trait on my videos and in my live streams. And that's what. Has gained me the comfort in being authentic on camera because, um, that's who I am. And so like, when you can understand things about you, I think I don't know, Ian, if you ever went through my LITA program challenge That was one of, it was basically a live every day for 30 day challenge, which I don't do anymore in that form.

[16:35] But one of the things that I have taken from that and integrate into my coaching programs and other forms of education is understanding who you are as a person, which most people don't actually know or spend any time thinking about. Is the only way to really be authentic on camera. And so I take you through a series of questions that really uncovers who you are, where you see your flaws, where you see your strengths and getting really, truly vulnerable in that space, because most people don't think about it or spend any effort identifying these things.

[17:17] It's impossible. To then show that on camera intentionally, right? And so I think that's really one of the most important things you can do is uncover who you are internally and externally and how understanding how other people see you and think about you. And then you can actually turn that into intention.

[17:36] And be authentic intentionally, which is pretty cool. I know that kind of sounds like a little like weird intentionally authentic, but don't you agree with that?

[17:47] Ian: No, I totally get it. It seems like ridiculous that you'd have to say that, but I think that's really important because one of the things I was going to say is so many of us feel tempted to Become a like a carbon copy of somebody else.

[18:00] So I'm sure you've had this like they'll be really inspired by your shows, Luria. And they think, ah, maybe I need to dance, or maybe I need to move my hands around. Maybe I need to, Sound like really excited, but I'm actually less animated, so they try to become a Laurier copycat and not because for any other it's easier for them to do that than to work out to look into that side themselves and like, well, who am I?

[18:26] And to feel the confidence, like with their own voice, with their own flaws. And what would you say for somebody who. They've gone on that journey to maybe understand like a little bit about who they are, but they don't really like what they see and they'd rather be more like you, Luria.

[18:41] So what would you say to them?

[18:42] Luria: It's never going to work. And you're right. I think you said it so perfectly. I've seen it over and over, like dancing countdown timers became a thing after I started doing it across the internet. And I was like, this is really interesting, right? It's like the reason I did dancing countdown timers was because I was uncomfortable doing it.

[19:05] No, nobody actually realizes that it's like dancing is something that I hold near and dear to my heart and I do, but I don't share any of it. And yeah, It's just because it's like it goes down deep down into, my dad's love of dance and art and how he integrated that with me growing up.

[19:27] And so that's like a deep passion, but it's never something I wanted to share. And That was me just challenging myself to be more authentic and do something that, oh, made me uncomfortable, right? And so it's interesting, it's I want you to do those things identify those things because that's what's going to create the hardcore connection.

[19:51] between you and your viewers is when they feel this sense. Like they're never going to say, Oh it doesn't seem authentic that you're dancing, but there's a disconnect that happens. And it's people are very smart and intuitive from that perspective. And so it's just not, you're going to hit your head against brick over and over and over until you.

[20:13] Break out of that shell and do the things that you find near and dear to your hearts, or it's, it can be as simple as a phrase. I say abso freaking lutely. That's my phrase that I say in like my real life. And so I take that to the camera, but that creates connection.

[20:29] People repeat that in my chat room. And I was having a conversation with one of my students in our in our membership where we were. Like I did we do this exercise where we do identify okay, how can you show up more authentically on camera? And I was looking at this is one Evan is his name and he does EFT tapping um, on his channel.

[20:49] And he has this calming voice, this calming presence. If he tried to be like me, it totally wouldn't work. If he like smiled and laughed and giggled, it's not going to work. And over and over the rest of the students were like, Oh man, I was just, I could fall asleep to your voice. I love your voice.

[21:07] Like I could totally listen to that for hours on end. But that's his calming presence and that's what makes him beautiful. And that's what makes his channel work is when he leans into that.

[21:19] Ian: I love that. And this is the problem when we Look at other content out there. It's difficult.

[21:25] We, I think getting inspiration is really good. So if people look at your channel to be inspired by the way you do things but then not to think, Oh, okay. The secret to my success is to do exactly what Luria is doing and to emulate that. And the thing so much so, you know, we talked about this, I think on the, when you were on the podcast a few years ago, you talked about flaws And I know that you've struggled with this or you've had to work through this and that is there were certain aspects of ourselves that we don't like or we haven't liked.

[21:55] And often we will want to change those things because we want to appear, say, more likable. So for example with me, like I have a singing background and you might think this is ridiculous, Luria, but I've tried to hide that side of me because I think it's like irrelevant and ridiculous and I feel embarrassed about it, which is not true.

[22:15] It's complete nonsense because actually that side of me, people, my audience are going to love I've also even when I'm, when I've spoken at events in America, I've been really self conscious about my British accent. Oh my God, we love

[22:29] Luria: that.

[22:30] Ian: And that's the thing, but I'm using these as examples because Still for me today I, there's still an element that I'm trying to hide that away and I've been working on that.

[22:40] And I think that's the case with all of us. So embracing who you are and you will have an audience that will come to, that will like you and love what you do. And it is a journey that we, that takes time.

[22:52] Luria: Yeah. And understanding that the way we perceive our flaws is just not the way that others see it.

[23:01] And we know that intellectually that, we're the hardest critic and blah, blah, blah. But until you really spend some effort embracing that concept is going to be a struggle. And like with the accent, like I, Love listening to you because of your accent, right? Doesn't really matter what you say.

[23:21] Come on, just talk, right? But we all have those things. I saw the fact that I don't know, pop culture I don't know who's married to who celebrity gossip. I don't know, like actors names. I don't know movie names. I don't know. Don't have, I can watch a movie and forget all about it.

[23:39] Like I don't have any pop culture, anything. But that was always a source of embarrassment for me. Cause of core childhood. traumas, right? Like, and I wasn't allowed to, I grew up in a very overly strict environment. No TV allowed, no music allowed, except for the approved list, like all of these things.

[24:02] And so for me, that's a source of embarrassment because it set me apart from other kids at school. And I wasn't allowed to participate in certain things, in that. Damaged me. And now it's something that I embrace on camera because other people find it humorous. It becomes a game with them trying to trip me up on pop culture references.

[24:25] And they feel like this, like they love it. They love it. I had to learn that was actually a strength for my content versus a brokenness in me.

[24:38] Ian: That's really interesting. And that must have been a very difficult journey because obviously from your childhood, all these traumas, but you've embraced that.

[24:45] And I love that too, because I'm just not interested in pop culture, but I've always felt that I should be. And so I actually love the fact that somebody else out there doesn't really get it either. But

[24:57] Luria: We'll be anti pop culture. We'll form a club.

[24:59] Ian: Who else wants to join?

[25:00] Yeah, exactly. So I, I love, I love chatting with you, Luria. We, I think one of the things that, um, I see with you is that you're obviously interested in so many different things. You go super deep with technology, but it's not just, it's not really about the technology. It's. The people, you mentioned you're an introvert, but you love people and you care about people, you want them to fulfill really their their direction and their and at a core,

[25:29] Luria: I believe, oh, sorry.

[25:31] Ian: No, you carry on.

[25:32] Luria: I was just going to say I believe tech is a tool and it's only a tool to get your message heard, to add your personality, like we can do all kinds of fun stuff with tech and graphics and overlays and animations to integrate your personality in your own unique way. But it really is at its core, a tool for you to live a bigger version of yourself.

[25:52] Ian: Yeah, definitely. And so you was, you were saying earlier about this. wanting to do something new and you're not challenged. And I think one thing that I'd love to see from you is going deep, the kind of conversation that we've had today. I love that. But I wanted to ask you this just before we finish, because I know you've had this in the past.

[26:10] You've had this, you have made pivots in the past where people, they've been invested in this part of you. And then you've said, actually, you know what, I'm going this direction and not everyone. So if people, for example, yourself, if you, not that you are going to make this big pivot, I'm not suggesting that, but if people are going to change maybe they've tried to be somebody else and now they're going to be me and people don't necessarily like that.

[26:37] How do you make that transition? And because, and particularly when it comes to, this was a question I was going to ask you earlier when it comes to people like the trolls out there who are saying nasty things and that can be quite hard.

[26:52] Luria: It can. It can. And pivoting is a necessary part of life.

[26:58] When I pivoted the first time, I did it very wrong. I, it was ten years in. I started when I was in my early twenties. I was now in my thirties and I wasn't, I was in a bubble, a forced bubble of, Personality. And when you go from twenties to thirties, you're supposed to grow and change.

[27:18] You're supposed to be somebody different. And that I felt wasn't allowed, and so that was the, that was really difficult. And I blew everything up. I lost 2 million followers immediately changed my name, like a whole thing. I did it very wrong. And people are still just rediscovering me from that blow up and that pivot.

[27:38] And what I believe now is your content, your personality on your content should ebb and flow over time. And your audience, if you do it softly versus blow everything up, like I did, if you do it softly and over time, and just as you're feeling those changes in you as a human being your audience is very likely going to come along with you for the journey.

[28:05] Especially if you're connecting with them from an authentic place they're going to want you to grow and change. They're going to want to go with that journey on you. I'm sorry, on that journey with you. The people who don't, like I went through a pivot recently and a big transition in my business.

[28:22] And I lost a lot of viewers and I turned around one day and I was like, I don't want them. I didn't like their personality. I didn't like the energy that they brought into the chat room and I was happy that they left me. And so understand that as you do grow and adjust as a human being, likely the people who don't come along with you and are trolls to you are going to, Really be the wrong person for you going forward.

[28:52] And that's not only okay. That's beautiful because now I love my community. I love the heart that they bring to it versus a judgmental approach to life. And that happened because I was, I said okay to a risk.

[29:11] Ian: And that, that takes courage, but it's so important, to be you to, then you're going to attract the people that like you for who you are, which is what we want. And the last thing you want is to trap yourself

[29:25] Luria: in, sorry, I was just going to say the last thing you want is to find yourself trapped just because you weren't willing to make that change.

[29:33] Ian: Yeah, and we, you can get trapped into the cycle of creating content for content's sake and creating the kind of content that you think your audience want when they aren't really the audience that you want. So yeah. Laurie, I, as I was saying, I could speak to you for ages but we are trying to keep these episodes short and sweet.

[29:52] No, it's fine. It's absolutely fine. It's been an absolute. Pleasure speaking with you to hear your story. And I know my audience will be, will have loved this episode. So thank you so much. So you have you have been working on lots of different things. We mentioned this in the previous episode but just briefly tell us about the, this, the thing that you've got which if you go to iag.

[30:12] me forward slash Luria, you can find out all about, I just forgotten the actual name of it. And you're going to help me with it. Yeah,

[30:18] Luria: it's it's called the bold video bundle. And it's. It's a paint by numbers style system to use tech as a tool to get your message heard. So if you're willing to be bold and show up on camera more confidently through understanding that you have a professional video that you want to put out there and that you can be proud of then I help you set up the tech very streamlined, very easy.

[30:42] You don't have to know anything or be good at the tech. I take care of you without any decisions on your part, really.

[30:48] Ian: That's what we want. Even if you don't like the tech, you want to communicate and I think that a lot of this stuff will help. Okay, the tech won't necessarily help when you're speaking on stage, but if you get all the, if you get the tech sorted and you get confident in front of the camera, it will also help you when you get out on stage, if that's what you want to do as well.

[31:07] It's the whole thing. You can find out more. And sign up at IAG. me forward slash Luria. Thank you so much Luria. It's been amazing to chat with you but we are out of time. Thank you so much everyone for plugging us into your ears, for watching on the YouTubes. There is a blog as well.

[31:23] So if you just go to IAG. me forward slash podcast the show notes are all there. But until next time, I encourage you to level up your impact authority and profits through the power of confident live video. See you soon. Toot a late!

[31:35] Thanks for watching the Confident Live Marketing Show with Ian Anderson Gray. Make sure you subscribe at iag.me/podcast, so you can continue to level up your impact, authority and profits through the power of live video. And until next time. Toodaloo!

[31:52]