[0:35] Never try to be somebody who you're not be yourself and just be your best self
[0:42] Ian: Hello, and welcome to the Confident Live marketing podcast. I'm Ian Anderson Gray. And in this season, we're talking about confidence and communication. And my guests are going to be sharing their confidence and communication journey so that you can get in front of the camera and share your story with the world.
[0:58] Without getting really scared and worried that you're going to make a complete fool of yourself because let's face it, we've probably all done that over the years, I think I certainly have. I'm very excited to bring back Gillian Whitney and it's great to have you on the show, Gillian.
[1:12] How are you doing?
[1:13] Gillian: I'm excited to be here. Thank you so much for having me. It's an honor.
[1:17] Ian: It's great. You have been on the show before you are a live stream strategist and coach, and you make video easy peasy, easy peasy is your, is your kind of name, isn't it? And you've, you have a weekly LinkedIn live show. So tell us a little bit more about your LinkedIn live show.
[1:32] Gillian: So I go live on LinkedIn every week at Tuesday at 10 a. m. Pacific time. Actually started my LinkedIn live show in Israel where I was going live at eight o'clock at night. So it's always good to think of all the different time zones when you're going to start going live. And it's the LinkedIn easy peasy.
[1:52] LinkedIn easy peasy. So basically the theme of the show is I have guests come on and we talk about how to make LinkedIn an easy peasy place to be.
[2:03] Ian: Love it. And you are in your bio. It says you are a citizen of four countries. And I love it. You say countries for any reason. You're not a spy. We'll have to take that. Take your word for it, of course, on that one. But tell us a little bit. Tell us about those countries and an introduction to how you got to where you are today.
[2:20] Gillian: So I am a digital global nomad. I live, I was born in Canada. I'm British born abroad because of my parents. I am an American naturalized American citizen, and I'm an Israeli. And five years ago, I actually picked up with my husband and we moved to Israel, sight unseen, six suitcases and two little dachshunds.
[2:43] And we moved to Israel at the time of the pandemic, like it was like. Two months before the pandemic hit and we hit lockdown. So we're the only people to go to Israel and never see Israel because we were in lockdown. So we left after a year and a half and came back to the United States and that was our journey.
[3:01] So now we're moving around the United States trying to figure out where should we live because we don't have any place. We're just digital nomads.
[3:10] Ian: So we met each other in the UK. You were speaking at the uplift live conference, which is all about LinkedIn. Your big thing is. LinkedIn live, which is awesome. So let's go back to the beginning. I suppose when you first started thinking about video did you start with just regular video or did you just jump into the deep end and look at live?
[3:33] Because what I'm interested here is like a time when maybe you struggled With the idea, getting in front of the camera with confidence tell us a little bit about those early days.
[3:42] Gillian: So my early days with video is because I come from a tech background. I was a technical writer and a computer trainer. I love helping people and showing people how to do things. So my early videos were loom videos where you're like the little circle bubble and you share your screen and you show people how to do things.
[4:03] And I was doing okay with those, but I realized I had to, step out of my comfort zone and Go full face into the videos. And that was a real struggle because it's don't you have to be 20 and blonde and beautiful in order to do that? And I wasn't, I was really uncomfortable. And I remember my first video that I made, I picked up my cell phone.
[4:26] And I think I must have paid 40 takes before I could choose one and I used clips so that it was, Apple clips so that it would have, captions and all those things. And I posted it to LinkedIn. And I remember somebody saying, you're too close. Your nose looks too big. And somebody actually put hashtag nose.
[4:48] And they put me up as a example of somebody with too big of a nose to do video. But I just kept going anyways.
[4:57] Ian: That's quite a difficult start. So so you kept going what was the turning point for you? Because obviously like now. You're going live regularly. It's your business. How did you overcome those, that fear and that nervousness and that's maybe lack of confidence at the start.
[5:14] So how did you go about doing that? And what part of that story is live video?
[5:18] Gillian: I did video for a while till I could get comfortable with it. And I just continued to just make videos, always envisioning the person on the other side of the screen. And I think that's important because if you put your attention on your audience, like you said before, it gets you out of your own head.
[5:38] And it allows you to care more about the audience and what your message is, because essentially people are not looking at us the way we think they're looking at us. They're there to either learn something or be entertained. So it's really important that you Make that message as a gift to your audience and I come from a Toastmasters background and that is the theme in Toastmasters is always put your focus on the audience and look for those friendly eyes when you're speaking in public.
[6:11] So I actually made like a little post it note. I call him Lenny and I put him beside the lens of my camera so that I could always have those friendly eyes to make me feel more comfortable.
[6:22] Ian: I love that. I think that's a great tip. Just focusing on the people behind the camera. And I think this is in a way, this is what I struggled with. I struggled with a lot of things at the start, but was the fact that the camera's this inanimate object and I can see you. When I'm talking, which makes such a difference.
[6:40] I think that when you have a guest on with live video, that makes a big difference, but if it's just you, you're either just seeing a picture of yourself, which is, that's a whole other thing that we could go down. Let's get getting comfortable with the way we look is one thing, but I think we're just wired as human beings to communicate with other human beings, and if we just see this kind of camera then that's really hard, isn't it?
[7:03] Was there a pivotal moment that, or a decision that helped you build your confidence and do what you're doing today, or was it more of a gradual process for you?
[7:14] Gillian: I think it was more of a gradual process that I'm by nature and introvert. And I assumed that, introverts can't do this, but then I recognize, oh, people were saying they liked my videos, they were finding them helpful. So then I began pushing myself and I remember once I saw somebody else who was doing video and I thought they were doing it terribly.
[7:39] And I thought I need to up my game because what that person's saying isn't very good and no one will know about me if I don't get out there and push myself. So sometimes too, there's a little bit of, if you're not doing video and your competitors are doing video, that can give you a little bit of a push to, get over yourself and get out there.
[8:03] Ian: I think that can have, it can have different effects. I think that's a really positive effect. You saw. Somebody sharing video and you thought, Oh, I think I can do better than that. It was an encouragement for you, but sometimes we can go down the comparison route and think, Oh, there's so much better than me.
[8:18] I think how we look at what other people are doing, we need to frame it in the right way and we need to use it as an encouragement. And we also need to become, we need to remember to be ourselves and I think this is something that you feel strongly about when you create video, when you go live, it's you and you embrace yourself and it's the audience that come to watch you, they love you.
[8:39] Because you're you're not trying to be somebody else. Any thoughts on that? Because I think this, thinking about my own journey, that was a big problem, I think. Because I'm like you, I'm an introvert. And I was quite shy on camera to begin with. And I thought I need to become someone else to begin with.
[8:55] I thought I had to become this kind of really over the top, vibrant person. I realized very quickly that wasn't going to work. But what are your views on that?
[9:04] Gillian: I so agree. We have to be ourselves. And so when you're on video, if you're just doing video and you're not even doing live video, imagine your best friend, how would you talk with your best friend? Don't all of a sudden go into business speak or teacher speak or whatever that is. It speak naturally the way that you do.
[9:24] Don't worry so much about your ums and your ahs. They will get better over time. That's why Toastmasters is so good. And just lean into what you do. If you laugh, smile, have a good time. I find with video you have to have a little bit of extra energy because the computer is so flat.
[9:44] So we almost have to have a little bit of extra energy, which is hard for introverts. So you have to be kind to yourself afterwards and have some space. So I know when I do video or I go liveI give myself a break afterwards because I know I had to be on and now I can be off. So I think that's important as well.
[10:03] But yes, never try to be somebody who you're not be yourself and just be your best self.
[10:11] Ian: Love that. yeahI call this heightened authenticity because you want to be yourself. You want to stay being yourselfbut you do have to put a little bit more energy behind it. I think otherwise it can get a little bit flattened. I'm boring. And yeah I yeahjustI think the whole energy thing is really interesting because some peoplesome of us get more get energized by from what we're doing at the moment.
[10:35] And I really enjoy this. I'm loving having you on the show. I'm really enjoying this conversation. But I do know at the end of this, I will be listening. Probably quite tired. And I found when I was doing live video regularly that I was in danger of getting burnt out because I was doing it too much.
[10:53] So I think you have to be aware of your own energy levels. You have to work that into your schedule and see how that works. And it's obviously something that you've thought a lot about as well. I wasn't planning on asking you this question, but I think it's a really interesting question.
[11:05] How do you work out the scheduling of your live show and the content creation, the video facing content creation, taking into account your energy levels as well so that you don't get burnt out?
[11:33] .
[11:33] Gillian: Before my lives, because I just have to be in the right zone in the right space.
[11:37] So that's one thing that I do. And then I also give myself time after the lives to come down. And I really believe strongly in comments and responding to comments. And so I make my goal that after the live, I have a nice cup of tea. That's my British roots. And I sit there and I dress all the comments.
[11:58] And then that way that allows me to come down in gear down after the live.
[12:04] Ian: That's great. And I think I love the fact that you go in and you're commenting. And even from a strategic point of view, that makes sense because the you're making the LinkedIn. Post that it becomes you're extending the longevity of that, which is important, but also it's just the right thing to do because you might be able to introduce people to people and answer questions and remind people that they can watch the replay.
[12:28] I love that. This is one, one thing that a lot of people who watch this show and listen to the show which is a bit, I don't know what that says about my audience, but they like to hear disaster stories. So you might not have a disaster story, but is there any kind of disaster or mistake on camera that was a learning moment for you and what did you learn from that?
[12:47] Gillian: I love lives because it's disasters. It's not if it's when it's always went, when will it happen? So you always have to be prepared. So probably my worst disaster, cause there's been many to choose from, but my worst disaster was someone had commented that at the end of lives, It's awful. And they actually used me as an example and it was okay.
[13:10] It was totally okay. And they said, when people just hit and broadcast, it can catch you. And you're like, you're making the weirdest face. And they said, you really should have an outro at the end of your lives so that there's a smooth transition at the end. And I went, that really makes a lot of sense.
[13:28] So I went ahead and I created a wonderful outro and I was all ready to go. And I had my guest and we did the live, we did the intro, we did the live, everything was great. And then I went and I hit the outro and it played and it was wonderful. And I was just sitting there and I was watching, the video and listening to the music and then it ended.
[13:49] And my guest was sitting there and I was sitting there and my guest through clenched teeth said, I think we're still live. And I went Oh, I just started laughing. And then of course I had to go hit the end broadcast and it's always twice and I had to hit it again. And it was like, We're really leaving now, and it was just the funniest thing that happened.
[14:13] And I was going to go and rip it out afterwards and delete it. And my guest said can I see it before you do that? And then I said, of course. And then I went, I'm going to delete that. That's real. That's what happens. And I left it, and I actually made a post about, yes, even after going live for a year, I was still making mistakes.
[14:36] And that's what happens.
[14:38] Ian: Love. I love that the, yeah, we just, I don't think it matters how long you go live the you, we are all gonna make silly mistakes like that. I went live about a month ago and I think I forgot what show it was 'cause I have two shows. So welcome to the, and I dunno what I said and, one week I'll probably forget my name.
[14:55] So it's, there's so many moving parts and I love the fact that you kept that up and you made that as a that's a way to teach and to say, look, okay, it might be a good idea to to plan these things out, but that's great. I love that. So you mentioned a few times that you are an introvert.
[15:11] I'm a fellow introvert as well. So this is something I think I was interested in your view on this in terms of how does personality play a part of this? We've talked about energy levels. People can be introverts or extroverts or ambiverts, people can be shy, you can be a shy extrovert. So what are the kind of effective strategies for people's personality types, maybe talk about your own, but also people that you have.
[15:38] taught, because I'm sure you've taught lots of different, loads of different personalities. So how does that help? How? How do you manage that in order to be confident in front of the camera and to communicate really effectively?
[15:50] Gillian: I think it's I'm a firm believer in 16 personalities, so the Myers-Briggs, and I'm an INFJ, and I recommend everybody go to 16 personalities.com, take the test and find out who you are, because that allows you to just go, oh, I thought that was just. because I was weird. No, it's not because you were weird.
[16:10] It's your personality. So you begin to learn, Oh, I'm this kind of person and I'm that kind of person. And it allows you to feel more confident because you understand how you tick. So that's really important. And what I found is that I look at my guests and if I focus my attention on making my guests feel comfortable, it's almost as if like I'm, When you go liveyou can see yourself as a party host.
[16:39] If you were hosting a partyyou would welcome people into your home. You'd be introducing them to other people. You would be so focused on them and having everybody have a good time. I think that. allows your natural personality come through that if you make this a good experience for your guestit allows you to be a little bit more confident as well.
[17:04] Ian: So what would be your top tips to become more confident and in your communication, especially in front of the camera, if you could maybe share one or two tips so that people, they might already be going live, they might all be doing video, but that's just not happy. They know that there's something holding them back.
[17:22] Gillian: The first thing is kick your perfectionistic tendencies to the curb. There is no need to be perfect. In fact, what it is it's progress. It's about your progress. And just look at yourself, how far you come with each and every video. You have to be willing to suck the first couple of times that you do video, because you're going to do things wrong.
[17:46] You're, your tripod's going to fall over all different things. I've made videos where I forgot to plug in my microphone and there's no sound. And I'm like, eh, you do it again. I've had things where the dog came in and started barking. It's just part of life. So you just keep moving forward and just know.
[18:04] Over time, you will get better with everything. Nobody is a, a marathon runner. The first day you have to jog, remember Rocky. It's like he was, every up every morning he could barely do it. But at the end, he's like running up those stairs and he's doing it. That's what we have to have that mindset that we have to put in the reps, put in the work and over time we'll get better.
[18:29] But it's all about getting rid of that perfection. Don't compare yourself to anybody. Just look at yourself and just say, how did I do? And analyze your videos. And be kind. Like in Toastmasters, we have to give feedback of how people did speeches. You can take that same evaluation quality and look at your own videos and sit there and say, how was my lighting?
[18:57] How was my video? Was it blurry? Was it clear? Did I make good eye contact with the camera? Did I say too many ums and ahs? Look at yourself like that and make notes, get a diary. And over time you can increase how you do something by evaluating yourself and setting goals to get better.
[19:18] Ian: Love that you've actually answered my last question, which was really about words of encouragement for advice and for the listeners. But I think you've really done that because it's, it is about just getting started, not going down the perfectionism side of things and you will get better. It is. If you look back at the first videos that we have created you might be encouraged it's the point.
[19:41] Yeah. Horrendous. Oh my goodness. My, I still keep them up on YouTube, even though I'm tempted to take them down from time to time. Thank you so much, Gillian. It's been great to have you back on the show. So obviously you've got your LinkedIn live show that happens every week. What's, and obviously LinkedIn is probably the best place to, to connect with you.
[19:59] So tell us a little bit more about that. What, and what your next thing that you're working on. Cause you've, you tell us about your book again, but you've I'm sure you've got other things that you're working on. What, tell us a little bit more about that.
[20:10] Gillian: This is the book that I just released on Friday, which is LinkedIn live guests mastery. But which is all about building your brand and attracting more clients. And it's an easy peasy way to get into doing live streaming because as a guest, you learn so much. So that's good. And then I just want to put a plug in for my previous book, which is how to feel more comfortable on camera.
[20:35] This is like a. Really easy peasy read. But know that you're not alone. You're not alone. And that we just have to get started and get in and know that people are cheering for you. We are cheering for you. Have an accountability partner and say, I want to do a video and just say, be my accountability partner.
[20:58] And when that video goes live for the first time and you post it up on linkedin or instagram or facebook. Ask your friends. Go take a look at it. Let me know what you think and recognize people are cheering for you. We want you to succeed.
[21:13] Ian: Thanks, Gillian. Some great advice. Do check out Gillian's books. Do connect with her on LinkedIn and watch her show. Thank you. It's been awesome to have you on. Really appreciate it. So before you go, I'd love to tell you a little bit more about Adobe Express, who is sponsoring this episode. I'm a proud Adobe Express ambassador, and I've been using it for years to help create my visual content. Now, if you're anything like me, you're looking for ways to to spice up your digital content and also to make it really super easy and quick.
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[23:57] Do check out the podcast website at iag.me/podcast where you can see and watch and read previous episodes. But until next time, I encourage you to level up your impact, authority, and profits through the power of Confident Live video. See you soon. Bye.
[24:13] Thanks for watching the Confident Live Marketing Show with Ian Anderson Gray. Make sure you subscribe at iag.me/podcast, so you can continue to level up your impact, authority and profits through the power of live video. And until next time. Toodaloo!
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